Wed, August 2, 2006 - 11:00 PM
People ask me why I fill my life with activities. I am always doing something. Work. Faires. Traveling. Shows. Hobbies. Writing. Exercising. Walking the dog. Taking pictures. Creating graphics. Taking classes. Cleaning. Reading.
Tonight I sat at home and watched a television show on DVD. I don't watch commercial television at all because I don't like commercials and news shows and such. But there are some television series that I like, including Star Trek, Twilight Zone, ER, CSI and Las Vegas.
Tonight I watched Las Vegas. It's a pretty silly series with no value of any kind except to kill an hour. Mindless plots combined with idiotic storylines, bad acting and wooden characterization.
So I sat watching a brainless television show for an hour and near the end of the show a couple walked out of the casino holding hands, in love.
I felt moisture on my cheek. Must have been some dust in my eyes, some irritation. Men don't shed tears --- at least that's what I was taught. It's not allowed. Men don't cry. Man, there must have been a lot of dust in my place tonight.
I miss Claudia, my wife, who passed away 18 months ago yesterday. Eighteen months ago Claudia moved on from this life into a new adventure.
Faires help. Traveling helps. Going to shows helps. Working on hobbies and just working helps. I've always kept very busy, and now I am even more actuve. It helps me stay sane.
Watching silly television shows doesn't help.
I've been told I'm a lucky man. I found my soul mate and lived with her and loved her for 12 and a half years.
Sometimes I wonder if the sadness and sense of loss will ever go away.
In the meantime, i stay occupied, meet new people, enjoy life and lead an ethical, happy life. One lesson I've learned is life is too short to waste.
I'll feel fine tomorrow. And I think I'll stay away from brainless television shows for a while.
Deena (Thu, August 3, 2006 - 11:19 AM)
And your friends will do their best to help. I haven't been in your shoes, so I can only try to imagine, but I don't like what I imagine.
Unless otherwise noted, all photos and text is Copyright © Richard G Lowe, Jr.