Introversion

Sun, May 28, 2006 - 7:51 AM

Life has become very interesting this last year and a half since my wife passed away. You see, for nine years she was very sick, and those last few years (from 1998 to 2005), she had COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulminary Disorder). During that time, I focused on caring for her, raising our child (my stepson) and getting him educated, working (and more working), and schooling.

Life was very full and there was no time for much else. No one helped me care for her, so it was very difficult to get out to do anything. There was always a fear in my mind that she would die (literally) if I got too far from her. I'm not complaining, as I treasure every moment with her, but it did have the effect of introverting me big time, and I was already introverted to begin with.

Now I am having an interesting time relearning how to be social and how to socialize. I often have absolutely no idea what to do or what to say.

it's actually kind of fun ... I never was much of a party animal (well, seeing as how I have been to only a dozen or so parties in my life, that's overstating it a lot) and I got into computers because I liked working by myself (when I started in 1978, I worked in the computer room behind a locked door).

I'm branching out and doing more things with people. Not just the faire - I love halloween, and last year me and some friends went around the Los angeles area, visiting all of the haunted houses (there are quite a few). At work I arranged the Halloween and Christmas parties (now that's new for me) and I've been going on expeditions with the local botanical societies and hiking clubs.

The picture here, by the way, is something I created using a product called Poser. I call it "Attitude".

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Comments

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Steve Nanning (Sun, May 28, 2006 - 7:59 AM)

Good on you, Rich. Its great to see how you're re-discovering life and living. It's a huge banquet with many dishes to be sampled. Glad you're out exploring, and even more glad that we're part of your journey.

Lee R. Green (Sun, May 28, 2006 - 11:07 AM)

Good job! I definitly recall the first time I met you, when my wife and I came up and introduced ourselves. You looked like a scared rabbit, and seemed uncomfortable that you had been selected out of a crowd, and that someone you didn't know actually wanted to talk to you, specificaly, not just some random interaction between a character and a patron. Someone in the crown knew who you were, and you could see in you face that it made you...uncomfortable? I'm not sure that's the right word, but there is definitly a difference between the man I met that day and the freind I have now.

Cindy (Mon, May 29, 2006 - 12:02 PM)

Richard, as you know we have much in common - I spent 16 years single, celibate and sober raising my 'special baby' by my self. No dating, no restaurants, no movies, nada. My first venture out of my plastic bubble (as just 'Michael's mom") was at faire in Northern, after my friend Roxy (Joseph's S.O.) convinced me to attend. I didn't work, but as she owns Casa et al, I was a patron with full carte blanche, and helped her with her Friesion horses for the joust troupe and camped at her site. I met wonderful people, many who remain very, very good friends to this day.

I am so very happy for you that you found such grand love, and my heart breaks that the fates chose to lead you down a different path - most never even experience love so selfless. I am happy that your journey has also brought your friendship into my life. You are a wonderful man, and I am proud to call you my friend.

As for whether you will ever meet another love? I have to ask you, does it matter? I think you have many adventures to experience yet, and if you are fortunate to be blessed twice that is icing on a very sweet cake that awaits you.

I was at one time described as having that 'deer in the headlights' appearance as well, believe it or not, LOL!! You have since shed most of the shell that confined you, tho it may not always feel that way; Now allow yourself to step out and live! You deserve nothing less, my friend ;-}

No fear.
xo
~C

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